I called my ex last week to properly organise this long weekend and my time with the kids. I've learned that "asking for her help" is futile, so I communicate (tell her) in an adult way what I'd want to happen. we agreed to me coming over at 3.30pm sunday to pick up the 3 smaller kids as all of them would be home for a sunday lunch, so it was great I could see the older ones as I hardly get to see them anymore. when I got there the 2 older ones had just gone and I was upset because they could have waited for me to arrive (as I was on time). naturally their mum wouldn't have encouraged them to wait around for me. anyway when I got there I saw 5 of them at least and when I started to say lets get your stuff in the car I was given the reason why no one was coming over to stay with me. meanwhile my ex was apparently in her bedroom asleep. the youngest had a stayover at his neighbor's place organised for 2 weeks (obviously my ex let this escape her when we were talking?!), the 2nd youngest said that she had something else on and the 3rd youngest said her was going to work out with his mate next door..... so I felt like shit about then when I realised I could be leaving alone (again). after a talk with the kids and asking them what's happening I realise that even though their mum (my ex) was asleep the kids were kind of her spokespeople in that they were talking like she had given them instructions as to why the kids couldn't come over. anyway I stood my ground lovingly ans asked the 16 yr daughter (with whom I've been really struggling for 3 years now to get near) if she'd like to come out for a few hours with me and visit my parents (whom they hardly see as I feel they have been alienated as well, shit is that called Grand-parental Alienation Syndrome?) and she agreed which made my day ! we then went to visit my parents with 3 kids. while over there the older daughter kept telling my youngest "oh your friend will be very upset if you don't stayover at his place tonight". talk about putting words in his little mind.... and as we spent more time together my youngest told me in a whisper in my ear that he wanted to come over and stay with me.... he whispered so his siblings couldn't hear him, maybe he was scared at their backlash? I know my kids very well. I know I'm a loving good father. So I took them all home again and my youngest packed his bags (because they weren't already packed) and came back with me. it's obvious my ex is doing something to ward the kids against me.... When I dropped my boy to his home just now I came to the door and while they all saw me they just ignored me completely.... like a stray dog had come to the door. the kids may love me but show no respect at all to me, not that I want them to be false but I'd love some acknowledgment and some respect when I come to visit them. coming home in the car I was thinking that some of them may realise what's happening one day... then again some of them maybe will not.... i've also realised that my ex has indeed alienated my parents from the kids as well... anyway I am trying to focus on the positives that this weekend my youngest and I had a blissful 24 hours together !!!